The thing that I find the funniest about this whole thing is that he was acting like I was trying to be deceitful about my appearance. Hahaha. It was just so bizarre because I had at least 3 full body shots in my bumble profile. I'm obviously not trying to hide anything. Honestly I feel like the photos in my bumble profile are a good representation of what I look like in real life and I have no idea what he would have seen on my Instagram/Facebook that would have given the impression that I was "bigger" than I appeared on my bumble profile. And if he wasn't attracted to me in those, then all he had to do was not swipe right, not respond to my messages, and not ask me out on a date.
The most offensive thing about this whole conversation is that he assumes that if you're a bigger girl, health and fitness aren't important to you and that you don't respect or take care of yourself. WHAT THE HECK! That's so offensive on so many levels. Now I'm just going to go out on a limb here and say that health and fitness aren't actually important to him... size is important to him. And if that's the case, just be kind and go on your way. If you don't want to date "bigger girls" than just don't ask them out. There is no reason to be rude. If you don't find me attractive, just don't ask me out. I won't care. There are a million other guys out there that think I'm gorgeous and do want to date me. I'll just date one of them. It's fine. What isn't fine, is body shaming and cyber bullying.
It's not that I don't understand at all where he's coming from. I too have been a little surprised about a person's appearance when meeting someone from an online dating site. and I have been on a LOT of dates with guys I'm not super attracted to. But I have never left the date feeling upset about it or seen them as less-than. I've never felt it a burden or angering to sit and have a conversation with someone that I'm not necessarily attracted to. It's a human being, and a person's appearance shouldn't determine your kindness or respect. And like one date with someone you're not interested in is going to kill you. Unless they're a murderer. But that's not funny.
Now, I admit, I could have just not responded to him (or been a little less snarky). That would have been the easier thing to do. But I also think it is important to stand up to bullies. If everyone just ignores them and doesn't stand up to them, they are going to continue to treat people like that and think it's ok. And I'm sure I didn't stop this guy from doing the same thing again, but at least he's been told that saying things like that aren't ok. To women or men. This just really affected me because I have a lot of friends who have been victim to body shaming and emotional abuse. And they have always been women who took care of themselves. I know a lot of women who have struggled with disordered eating and emotional issues as a direct result of bullying and body shaming. You never know how your words might effect someone so we all need to be careful about what we say and how we treat others. I'm obviously am not perfect at this, but I try to see things from other's perspective and make things right if I do hurt someone.
The purpose of this post isn't to say "poor me" or to point a finger at this guy and say he's a terrible person. Although, I definitely don't think he's a nice person. But it's more to raise awareness. Things like this do happen online and it's not ok. If it can happen to someone like me who is confident, fit, and tries pretty dang hard to look good. (Yes, I know I make it look effortless, but it does take work) than it is happening to a lot of other people out there.
I should have known he was going to act like this when had like 5 posts about how much he admires and supports Donald Trump. haha.
The most offensive thing about this whole conversation is that he assumes that if you're a bigger girl, health and fitness aren't important to you and that you don't respect or take care of yourself. WHAT THE HECK! That's so offensive on so many levels. Now I'm just going to go out on a limb here and say that health and fitness aren't actually important to him... size is important to him. And if that's the case, just be kind and go on your way. If you don't want to date "bigger girls" than just don't ask them out. There is no reason to be rude. If you don't find me attractive, just don't ask me out. I won't care. There are a million other guys out there that think I'm gorgeous and do want to date me. I'll just date one of them. It's fine. What isn't fine, is body shaming and cyber bullying.
It's not that I don't understand at all where he's coming from. I too have been a little surprised about a person's appearance when meeting someone from an online dating site. and I have been on a LOT of dates with guys I'm not super attracted to. But I have never left the date feeling upset about it or seen them as less-than. I've never felt it a burden or angering to sit and have a conversation with someone that I'm not necessarily attracted to. It's a human being, and a person's appearance shouldn't determine your kindness or respect. And like one date with someone you're not interested in is going to kill you. Unless they're a murderer. But that's not funny.
Now, I admit, I could have just not responded to him (or been a little less snarky). That would have been the easier thing to do. But I also think it is important to stand up to bullies. If everyone just ignores them and doesn't stand up to them, they are going to continue to treat people like that and think it's ok. And I'm sure I didn't stop this guy from doing the same thing again, but at least he's been told that saying things like that aren't ok. To women or men. This just really affected me because I have a lot of friends who have been victim to body shaming and emotional abuse. And they have always been women who took care of themselves. I know a lot of women who have struggled with disordered eating and emotional issues as a direct result of bullying and body shaming. You never know how your words might effect someone so we all need to be careful about what we say and how we treat others. I'm obviously am not perfect at this, but I try to see things from other's perspective and make things right if I do hurt someone.
The purpose of this post isn't to say "poor me" or to point a finger at this guy and say he's a terrible person. Although, I definitely don't think he's a nice person. But it's more to raise awareness. Things like this do happen online and it's not ok. If it can happen to someone like me who is confident, fit, and tries pretty dang hard to look good. (Yes, I know I make it look effortless, but it does take work) than it is happening to a lot of other people out there.
I should have known he was going to act like this when had like 5 posts about how much he admires and supports Donald Trump. haha.
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